Everyone has at least one question that stumps them. For some it is “what is the meaning of life?” or “will Hilary Clinton run for president in 2016?” maybe even something deeper like “when is my next meal?” If you are like me then the answer is all of them. But still, there is a question that deems more difficult to me than any others I have ever been asked.
“If you could have one superpower, what would it be?”
That question alone raises a multitude of questions. Would I be the only superhero? Who would be the mastermind villain? Would my community accept me or would I have to hide my powers like my beloved Peter Parker?
Regardless of all of these questions I would ask, my quick response to mortals would be that I would fly. Quick. Easy. Simple. But that would definitely not be my first choice. That would be my third actually. After contemplating I have compiled a list:
- Telekinesis. Mainly so I wouldn’t have to get up when I am on the couch and forgot to grab my Taco Bell in the kitchen.
- Teleporting. So I could transport to countries where I could legally a drink a beer or two or ten.
- Flying. To enjoy an aerial view of balding heads.
- Sausage Vision. The ability to see everything as polish sausage. I wish I created this phenomena, but it was definitely a Cartoon Network idea before I had the chance to think of it.
- Owning the microwave from the first Spy Kids. Instant Big Macs. I know this technically is not a power, but does one the greatest vigilantes of all time have any superpowers? The answer is no. And I am speaking of Batman if you did not catch my drift.
As I have ripened into my twenties I am coming to terms with the fact that being a superhuman is not in my future. A feeling that is sort of resembling the moment I realized that Amanda Bynes was not always going to be the spunky Nickelodeon star from All That, but actually morph into a hybrid of Britney Spears during her meltdown and Amy Winehouse pre-overdose (RIP). Thus I leave you with a great quote from an inspirational hero:
“A hero can be anyone. Even a [wo]man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a young boy’s shoulders to let him know that the world hadn’t ended.” – Batman, Dark Night Rises