True Life of a Bro

Beautiful Tomboy
Future Miss America.

As a child, I remember the daunting feeling of hating dresses. I thought to myself that no other girls will accept me for wearing my brother’s hand-me-downs, watching Dragonball Z and wanting to be the red Power Ranger instead of the cliche pink girl. Until middle school, I stuck with the boys. Mostly because I looked like one, but also because boys did not care about my short, middle-part bob and the way my brother’s ratty pants would sag off my round body.

Whenever I found out what it meant to be a lady, I quickly realized that it was too late. I was never taught the fundamentals of hair-braiding or makeup-wearing because whenever I was at sleepovers I would be playing video games with my best guys friends or getting my ass kicked by my brother. When I finally decided that I should make friends that shared the same anatomy as me I realized that my perception of the girls around me was skewed. No one thought less of me because of my cut-off tee. On the contrary, I was taken in like the vagabond Simba — post Mufasa death. When I returned to Pride Rock the females took me in and groomed me to at least look like one of them. They knew I would never hunt the exact same way, but nonetheless they taught me their basic techniques.

As I have grown into a woman I am realizing that I am lucky to be born into a generation where women like me have have a place in society. Us “bro’s” hold balance for men and women alike. We set the path for future generations of tomboys. So young ones beginning the journey to becoming a bro, welcome to a wonderful world. To those who walk the path with me, enjoy the ride. And to those still confused by us, I will help enlighten your soul.

Bailey looking dapper as always.
Bailey looking dapper as always.
  • Fundamentals of Bro-dem. I think the term “bro” (when referring to women) basically means to never let go of the tomboy inside. When we were kids, the  tomboy species loved to get gross, play hard and leave the boundaries. Now as semi-adults we like to talk gross, party hard and cross boundaries. Never let the tomboy die, that spark in you will help you overcome challenges once thought impossible. Like beating everyone you encounter in Mario Kart for N64. Challenge me if you dare.
  • To be a bro, is to embrace the bro. It is always uncomfortable watching women half-ass being a bro. These women make occasional crude comments, comments about food and talk mildly about bodily functions — but only the PG ones. The benefits of being a bro is completely destroying any filter you once had before. Try it. Look someone directly in their soul. Tell them you can out drink him. And then do it. I know you can.
  • The life of a bro is a difficult path. Although generally most bros tend to not care about the opinions of others, bros are people too. And being a human being comes with having emotions. So when you come upon a bro and she looks pretty, maybe even wearing a dress and heels, do not look at her like she is of the indigenous race of the Nav’i. Bros are still women, who can look absolutely breathtaking. Take me for instance. But, when she does burp in your face and tell you to “eat it,” acknowledge her beautiful sense of style and even more beautiful sense of classiness. Not everyone can walk with the best of us. So I give you fair warning.

Bails and Sails

I live the life of the bro, because it is who I am. I do not wish to be a man. I do not want think women should strive to be men. I just believe that for me, true happiness lies on the fundamentals of being carefree, dressing comfortably and sitting with my legs open. And for all the boys out there who are “one of the girls,” I respect you too. Keep doing you.

So embrace yourself. You dirty little tomboy.

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