The Zombie Apocalypse and Dinner Conversations

As a child, I was often concerned about villains breaking into my home — too many video games — so I became accustom to planning an escape route to safely get out of my house along with informing and aiding my family in the process. My plan included a slingshot and throwing a chair out the window. Would have been successful if Doctor Octopus every tried anything stupid. Since I have matured into a young adult, I have stopped worrying about something so childish and have aimed my focus on the precautions I would take when the zombie apocalypse happens. Based on all of my extensive research on zombies, including: Warm BodiesI am Legend, ZombielandWorld War Z, etc., I have concluded that there are three important questions one might ask oneself in preparation when mindless, brain-eating ex-humans try to devour your insides.

  1. What will you wear? Think practical and stylish. Like camo cargo pants that can unzip into shorts.
  2. What is your weapon? There is no unlimited ammo, so plan wisely. Tanks are also not an option. Katniss is a badass with only a bow, so I think you will be fine.
  3. Who do you want by your side? Not a companion that you love so dearly you cannot leave their side, but someone who will help keep you alive. Like Bruce Lee or Al Hashemi. Yes, you can bring a dog. But not cats.

Maybe not all of the essential provisions needed for a zombie apocalypse survival, but it is important to at least have a basic knowledge of what you will need to acquire immediately when your diseased friend tries to eat your face. After I answered these questions for myself, I was curious of what my family and friends would do as well. Thus, began my quest to find out what the people I loved would do when the day comes. Just in case you are also someone who believes that there  is a possibility that a widespread disease will overcome humanity, I advise you to at least answer the questions above.

Now when you have finished asking yourself these important questions, it is time for the fun part. Go to dinner with your favorite people. Sit them down and tell them you have something very serious you need to discuss. Ask them the previous questions. When they laugh at you or say something negative to you, scold them politely or punch them in the throat. This is a life or death matter, and should be taken as such. Since you were the moderator of the question, you then get to rank your friends deaths in order of their responses. For this very brief moment in your life you will act as the Grim Reaper. You are welcome for this opportunity.

Stay safe my dear friends, we will survive together. Unless you have the last Twinkie.

Here are some of my favorite tweets, thank you everyone for the very thought out responses. You all know how to prioritize.

https://twitter.com/LindseyGroth/status/421107358824034304

https://twitter.com/ngo_it_all/status/421110492258529280

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