It has been a month, and I am still 21. Before I decided to tack on another year to my life, I wrote some lines on how being 21 was overrated. For those of you who knew I was being silly, I now understand. See there is this crazy thing that happens when you turn 21, and it is called a reawakening.
What I thought was going to happen was that I would be able to go to bars, have a beer with my mom and actually have something to do when I am stuck at an airport. Was I wrong? No. That all happened, and so much more. I have better posture, glossier hair, smoother skin and somehow I smell like cedar wood. Plainly put, I am a new person. I am now Sarah 2.1 and I am invincible.
For those curious what happens when you turn 21 I will help by answering the most common questions according to absolutely no research.
Q. Do you become an adult?
A. Not in the slightest — that would have been devastating. You actually become more immature for a short period if that is possible.
Q. Do you suddenly develop a life plan?
A. No. I was really hoping that was going to happen actually. Sorry mom. I now know that I don’t ever not want to be 21. Counts for something.
Q. Do your alcohol taste buds change?
A. Without a doubt. I refuse to drink anything that is popular. I will walk around with a beer before I drink it and ask people if they have heard of it. If 2/5 people have heard of it, it’s not going down my facehole and instead being thrown at the bartender for lying. Don’t try to offer me a Coors Light. Unless you are giving it to me for free. Then maybe I will drink it. I will drink it.
Q. Will I finally get a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Q. Are you sure?
A. Yeah, I thought it came with the package too.
Q. Do you lose all your money to overpriced drinks?
A. No, not all your money. If you continually ask bartenders to make the drinks with the cheapest type of liquor they have, then drinks really are not that bad. Then the only thing you are losing is your dignity and sense of taste.
Q. Can I be 21 too?
A. Yes. Everyone has the capability of being 21. (I tried to find some tips online to speed up the process, but surprisingly couldn’t find any information)
For those of you who are 21, thank you for letting me join to the club with you. It truly has been a great month, and I cannot wait for the next eleven. For those still patiently waiting for your time, know that you are missing out on the greatest joys in the world and it really sucks to be you.
Drink responsibly my friends.