When I Grow Up

I knew from a young age, that I was born to lead a life of crime fighting.
I knew from a young age, that I was born to lead a life of crime fighting.

Returning home is constant reminder that I have almost no idea on where I see myself in the future. Anytime I run into my parent’s friends they ask me the same two questions. How is school going? Obviously, wonderful.  Go Pokes. Or what do you want to do after college? This question is more stressful than trying to fit everything on one plate at a Chinese buffet. I usually respond with something along the lines of “something better than whatever you are doing, hag.” Jokes. But even after I have been asked this question so often, I am still never prepared. Because of this I have decided to formulate a list of all the things I would like to do when I grow up.

Pokémon Trainer. Many people can relate to childhood memories of spending an insane amount of time and money trying to fill custom binders with Pokemon cards or trying to decide if you wanted to purchase the red or blue Gameboy game — because they were obviously so different. But that was never enough for me. I dreamed of being Ash Ketchum. Of capturing my own first Pokémon. I saw myself gathering all of the badges and traveling through caves with my best friend, Pikachu. This was the first profession that thought I could truly excel at and still believe today would be a good fit for me.

Beyoncé. I am a woman so I want to be everything that encompasses and embodies the essence of Beyoncé Knowles. I am a very big advocate of everyone being themselves, but if I was half of the woman that Queen B is than I would be an angel, a star and a wonderful human being. I want to have the presence like her when she walks on stage. I want to change the lives of many people just with the sound of my voice and the moves of my hips.

Superhero. Anyone who knows me knows that more than anything in this entire world I want to be a superhero. I want a cape. I want to fly. I want to save the world. And more importantly I want a super rad name and back story. Some haters continue to think that I am ridiculous for believing that it is possible, but if there is one thing that my parents taught me growing up is that I can do anything I set my mind too.

Happy. I do not know what I want I want my profession to be when I am older. I do not know if I want to be a mother, or if I want to get married. I do not know which city or which country I want to reside in. I do not plan things ahead in my life. The farthest I’ve gotten is daydreaming about traveling to Ireland and rescuing a dog. All I know is that I want to live a happy life doing something that makes me and other people happy.

So to everyone who does not have their future planned out,  do not worry. We have time to figure out what we want to do. Focus on right now and live the life you want to live, even if that means holding on to your childhood fantasies.

Six Ways to Stay 6

Just so happen to be in NY and see Kinky Boots the same night as Grant.
Just so happen to be in NY and see Kinky Boots the same night as Grant.

As I begin my twenties I have started seeing my life through a different light. In my first month of my twentieth year, I have done many things that I did not think that I would accomplish at such a young age. I am living in DC, visited New York, held an internship, rode a cab alone, eaten Ethiopian food and given life advice to a 15-year-old. Six things I would have assumed would happen at least six years  down the road.

When I look back at previous years I begin to think reluctantly to the future. Why? Because I am scared that I have already peaked. Not in college. Definitely not in high school. But back to the age when I was six. I am not saying that later in life I won’t be happy or successful. Cause I will be. All I am saying is that there is a 6-year-old stuck in my large body. Thus, I give to you my six ways on staying 6.

  1. He was my passenger for my first solo drive to Stillwater.
    He was my passenger for my first solo drive to Stillwater.

    Hold on to your childhood. Whether you have a blankie, a bear or a Bop It!, hold on to it for as long as you can. Every night before I go to sleep I grab my teddy bear and I say “B.B. I love you.” I know he can’t respond to me. I am not crazy. But I do know that my brown bear thinks it. He loves me. I have taken him more places than my toothbrush.

  2. Go see a matinee of a G rated movie. Animated movies are the fastest ticket to childhood. Over the years, Pixar has given us some of the greatest movies of all time including Toy Story, The Incredibles, Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc. to name a few. So take a day off and go hang out with your old buds Sulley and Mike Wazowski.
  3. Play that game you used to play. For me, it was Pokemon Red on  Gameboy. For others it was barbie dress up. Or something weird like that. Whatever it was, go back and try it out. See if you are still interested in it. Did you know there is over 650 Pokemon now? Probably not, old person.
  4. Eat until you throw up. Literally. When I was a kid, my vice was cookie dough. Whenever Laurie (my mother) would make her homemade (not homemade) cookies I would sneak as much cookie dough as I could until one time when I legitimately threw up. Go find that something that you loved as a kid and eat it until you physically vomit all over the place. You won’t feel good about yourself, but you will definitely feel like you’re a 6-year-old child again.
  5. The insanely adorable Lexmagex.
    The insanely adorable Lexmagex.

    Indulge your imagination. Fill your bathtub. Use bubbles. Pretend it is the ocean and that your rubber duckie is a tanker. If you do not have a bathtub, put on a swimsuit, go purchase a kid pool from Walmart and do it in your backyard.

  6. Wear a cape. Just do it. Tell me there is a better joy in life and I will punch you in the face.

Now go off and be a kid. Don’t grow up. Stay young. Live life through the eyes of the 6-year-old version of yourself.

The Most Important Question

Everyone has at least one question that stumps them. For some it is “what is the meaning of life?” or “will Hilary Clinton run for president in 2016?” maybe even something deeper like “when is my next meal?” If you are like me then the answer is all of them. But still, there is a question that deems more difficult to me than any others I have ever been asked.

“If you could have one superpower, what would it be?”

Courtesy of flickr.
Courtesy of flickr: marvelousRoland

That question alone raises a multitude of questions. Would I be the only superhero? Who would be the mastermind villain? Would my community accept me or would I have to hide my powers like my beloved Peter Parker?

Regardless of all of these questions I would ask, my quick response to mortals would be that I would fly. Quick. Easy. Simple. But that would definitely not be my first choice. That would be my third actually. After contemplating I have compiled a list:

  1. Telekinesis. Mainly so I wouldn’t have to get up when I am on the couch and forgot to grab my Taco Bell in the kitchen.
  2. Teleporting. So I could transport to countries where I could legally a drink a beer or two or ten.
  3. Flying. To enjoy an aerial view of balding heads.
  4. Sausage Vision. The ability to see everything as polish sausage. I wish I created this phenomena, but it was definitely a Cartoon Network idea before I had the chance to think of it.
  5. Owning the microwave from the first Spy Kids. Instant Big Macs. I know this technically is not a power, but does one the greatest vigilantes of all time have any superpowers? The answer is no. And I am speaking of Batman if you did not catch my drift.

As I have ripened into my twenties I am coming to terms with the fact that being a superhuman is not in my future. A feeling that is sort of resembling the moment I realized that Amanda Bynes was not always going to be the spunky Nickelodeon star from All That, but actually morph into a hybrid of Britney Spears during her meltdown and Amy Winehouse pre-overdose (RIP). Thus I leave you with a great quote from an inspirational hero:

“A hero can be anyone. Even a [wo]man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a young boy’s shoulders to let him know that the world hadn’t ended.” – Batman, Dark Night Rises