Choose Happiness My Dear Friends

I am a firm believer that happiness is a choice. It’s actually proven by science. Anyone can become a person that finds it easier to settle into happiness, rather than dwell in sadness. Smiling is easy. Laughing is wonderful. People are inherently good in their cores. So why are there still Scrooges that exist in the world? If you’re feeling down, please let me give you some advice from my happy heart.

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” – Julius Henry “Groucho” Marx

  • Find joy in everyday things. Everyday routines slowly become more and more monotonous. Next time when you are brushing your teeth, give yourself a cool, foamy toothpaste mustache. Then shave it. With your toothbrush, please. When you are shampooing up your locks, check out what a mohawk would look like on you. Then decide it is a bad idea and continue to wash your hair.
  • Breathe. It ain’t that bad. Whatever stresses you are dealing with in your life, take a second and breathe. Literally. Like big ol breaths. It is proven to relieve stress. The less stressed you are, the more time you have to be happy. It’s almost Christmas, so the only thing you should be stressed about right now is if Santa Claus and his elves are going to be ready to fly around the world in a very short amount of time.
  • Show gratitude. Telling the people in your life that you are grateful for them is proven to make you happier. What a thought. Making other people happy helps you become happy as well. That sort of sounds like a theory for a perfect world. Go tell someone you’re thankful for them now and spread the happy bug!
  • Stop and smell the donuts. Screw roses. Donuts smell and taste better. If you need a quick happiness high, grab a sweet treat. But try not to over-indulge. I know from personal experience that one donut too many can send you from pure ecstasy to a disgusting, crying mess. Moderation is key, Sarah.
  • Spend some time alone. Spend just ten minutes alone with your thoughts. No smartphones, no Buzzfeed, no Netflix. Just you and your wonderful brain. Think about puppies, the beach or maybe something more spiritual like Beyonce. Whatever makes you merry. Go to your happy place.
  • Surround yourself with people that build you up. It’s easy to be happy when people around you aren’t negatively effecting your mood. Have friends who make you feel like they are lucky to have you in their life. People who look for the good in everyone and stray away from hate. It is easier than one would imagine to conform to other people’s emotions — even hatred. There are more people in the world who want to be happy, as well as see other people happy. Find them, and hold on to them tight. These are the people who will truly succeed in life.

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life — to be happy — it’s all that matters,” – Audrey Hepburn

Go laugh and be merry. Hug a dog. Kiss your grandmother. Play Beyonce’s new album (seriously though). Just be happy. It really is that easy.

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A Very Un-Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks to the people around you who have made your life more enjoyable. A time to reflect on how much you love and appreciate your family for all of the selfless things they do for you. Maybe even send out your love to your friends via Snapchat (disgusting double chin selfie). But what people do not regularly talk about is all of the others things they are thankful for. So, I present with you everything I am really thankful for.

  • I am thankful for my bed. Although it may not be the comfiest of all beds, I would like to give Henry a special shout out for making my naps as heavenly as could be. Without him, I do not know if I could have survived midterms or every day life.
  • I am thankful for karaoke. Thank you for giving me an outlet where I can feel like a star and still have the voice of a dying llama. Also, sorry to everyone who has witnessed me behind a microphone.
  • I am thankful for time away from my friends. I love all of my friends. They are wonderful people. But just like oatmeal chocolate chip cookie dough, if you consume too much of it you will throw up and eventually hate yourself and your favorite dessert.
  • I am thankful for the abundance of fresh food at my parents house. Although it is wonderful to eat ramen noodles three times a week and fried chicken every other day, sometimes I can feel my organs shutting down. But, when my body did not reject a carrot, I knew that I was going to live and that all my insides needed were a nice vegetable or two. Probably one though. Only one.
  • I am thankful for HuluPlus, HBO Go and Netflix. At any time I feel lonely, bored or unimportant, I know I can rely on my three boyfriends to make me feel like the mother of dragons, part of a fairy tale or like I am in a lady prison (in a good way?)
  • I am thankful for Oklahoma State beating Baylor. And by beating, I mean clobbering. Go Pokes. Bring it on Sooners.

Whatever you are thankful for, remember that you can still express your love to inanimate objects. Go spend time with a turkey and some mashed potatoes and eat as much as you possibly can. Thanksgiving is time for stretchy sweatpants and long naps. Oh, and I guess your family too.

My roommates and I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

Peace, Love and Food.

Twenty Things to Do in Your 20s

Many of the most transitional phases of someone’s life takes place during their twenties. You could possibly be graduating from college, deciding whether you want to stay in additional schooling for some years, in the process of getting a job, spending some time traveling, starting a family, trying to create a serum to become a superhero etc. But with all of these important decisions it is also important to focus on your relationships, hobbies and most importantly yourself.

Throughout the different stages of your twenties — whether it be the first time you can legally drink or you have just had twin baby girls —  it is time to cross some things off of your bucket list. Here are some ideas for twenty-somethings to accomplish when there is time to set aside school, a job or family and live it up.

  1. Create your list. Before you can accomplish all of your goals, you are going to need to know what they are first.  Know your limits, but be ready to push them. We are about to embark on a journey, so put on your big girl/boy pants, pack a water bottle full of muscle milk and start crossing some things off.
  2. Do something crazy. I know it is cliche to have skydiving on a bucket list, but might as well. Do something that is  physically and mentally challenging for you (e.g. skydiving, rock climbing, swimming in the ocean, running a mile, eating an entire cake) and maybe in the long run it will have a significant effect on you spiritually.
  3. Visit your childhood destination spot and experience it when you can legally drink. Places such as Disneyworld, Atlantis or a family lake house would be fun to revisit. Or if you have a more refined taste for entertainment travel down to Branson, Miss., and enjoy a magic show and Silver Dollar City.
  4. Build a piece of furniture. Only try this if you think you can handle a table saw without losing a finger or an arm.
  5. Create something for the public eye. Enter some poetry into a local contest, paint a still life of some fruit and display it at your university, choreograph a dance and post it on Facebook, or create a video of all of the good times of your friends and send it to them. Whatever motivates you to be creative, make something for other people to see.
  6. Study abroad or travel. If financially you can afford studying in a different country take advantage of that. If you cannot fit it into your budget travel to a city within 5 hours of you and explore what makes that city unique. Branson is only 4 hours and 18 minutes away from Stillwater. 5 hours 2 minutes from Norman. And only 3 hours 15 minutes from the beautiful city of Tulsa. So if anyone wants to go to Branson some time let me know.
  7. Make friends with different beliefs. Surround yourself with people who do not always agree with your opinions. You need people to challenge you and continue to make you question and define your beliefs. If you are a democrat in Oklahoma, you might not need any more friends with different beliefs. Just sayin’.
  8. Read a book from cover to cover that you would never initially consider reading. If you are really into Word War II nonfiction novels, then try out a sci-fi thriller. If you end up hating it, at least you tried something new and learned a little bit from Stephen King about being trapped under a dome.
  9. Treat your parents. After everything your parents have done for you, it is time to repay them somehow. If you just got your first job and have some extra money and do not know what to spend it on how about show some gratitude to your parents. You might think you need the latest Playstation 4, but don’t you think it would be more satisfying to take your parents on a cruise? Don’t abandon the idea of the PS4 though… it is supposed to be amazing.
  10. Have a girls/boys weekend. Go crazy. Have a no judgment weekend with people you know will let your freak flag fly.
  11. Be involved in your local politics. Know what is happening in the mayoral elections, check to see what public meetings you can attend and try one out, attend an SGA meeting or just keep up with your local newspaper.
  12. Learn something new about yourself. Do this by eating at a buffet alone. Do you still get three plates? Or do you feel uncomfortable about eating alone too much that you will pass on the stuffed crab pastry things. I recommend a Chinese buffet. Generally, there is slim to no judgment from anyone when you are there.
  13. Get a caricature of yourself. Have a stranger on a street point out all of your physical flaws and laugh at it when it is done. Realize that your biggest flaws make for the best cartoon.
  14. Spend one entire day without leaving your bedroom (unless you need to use the restroom or getting food). Although I have already crossed this off many times in my life, it is time to for an all day marathon of Game of Thrones, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Friends or whatever your favorite show is. Take your mind off of all of the things that are stressing you out and slip away into the journey of the Khaleesi.
  15. Make your home, dorm or bedroom exactly how you want it to be. Put up a Star Trek poster, have strobe lights in your kitchen, create a lava lamp centerpiece, do anything that makes your living space more unique and more inviting and exciting for you.
  16. Go through your Facebook photos and untag the pictures where it looks like you have had a rough night. As we all know, we live in an era where we are very public about our social lives. That means it is time to take down the picture of you holding up a middle finger and a bottle of cheap vodka. But save them to your computer so you can remember how much you used to suck.
  17. Karaoke. Go sing some Pussycat Dolls. There is nothing more appealing than singing “Buttons” to a group of strangers.
  18. Do a random act of screaming. When you are in a crowded public atmosphere stop what you are doing and yell something unusual. Make sure someone is recording you and then please send it to me.
  19. Express your love. Stop and tell everyone important in your life that you appreciate them. It will not take that long (because you probably don’t have many friends) and it will make the people around you happy.
  20. Be happy. Enjoy the little things and choose to be happy.

Grab a pen and paper and start crossing things off!

Positively Defrightful!

I grew up in a home where Halloween is a religion. Every year my mother would add new decorations to her collection making our home spookier and tackier. My father continuously told my mom that she was ridiculous buying glittery pumpkins, or a skull rug. But to no prevail, my mother would purchase all of her Halloween happiness and create a masterpiece.

I did not have a choice but to love Halloween. I looked up to my mother, and during the fall season my mother looked up to witches and ghouls (too far?). But because of my mother’s giddiness for this special holiday, I have learned the best ways to celebrate whether you are home reliving old traditions or at school making some of your own.

  • One of the greatest joys of Halloween is knowing that you can be any person, thing, metaphor, character, etc. that you want to be for a whole night. As a child, I always looked forward to being my favorite Pokemon character or making a costume out of a box and some duct tape. But as I have grown older, I have realized that Halloween attire is not just for one night anymore. You have a 3-day weekend in which you have the opportunity to dress up every night. Although this is wonderful, it also makes it very difficult on your time and wallet to come up with three costumes. My advice is to save your best costume for Halloween and then find people who are the same size as you and switch them for the following evenings. Usually for me, this means I would need to switch with some men. Any takers?
  • Every year my family celebrates Hallows Eve by feasting on none other than my beloved Kentucky Fried Chicken. We get mountains of crispy fried chicken, pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, and even get a good portion of coleslaw for my Aunt Mona. I would like to say that October 31 is the only time I eat KFC, but I cannot resist the Colonel Sanders mouthwatering original recipe chicken legs. Anyways… Since people frown upon adults trick-or-treating, create your own way of indulging your taste buds during the the spookiest holiday by picking a favorite restaurant to share new memories in, baking a pumpkin pie from scratch or go against the status quo and be a 20-year-old asking for candy.

    Renee Tipton
    It’s a bird.. It’s a plane.. No, It’s Renee Tipton!
  • Halloween is also a time of pranks. Try and scare the hell out of as many people as you can. If you have a clown mask (I hate you) it is your time to put that awful thing on and spook the socks off of your roommates. If you can handle messes, buy some fake blood and pretend like you have been attacked by an intruder. Have a chainsaw? Turn that sucker on and walk really slowly down the street with a limp. Get as many screams as you can so you can light up the city of Monstropolis.

However you celebrate the holiday, have a spooktacular time on a bootiful night.

When I Grow Up

I knew from a young age, that I was born to lead a life of crime fighting.
I knew from a young age, that I was born to lead a life of crime fighting.

Returning home is constant reminder that I have almost no idea on where I see myself in the future. Anytime I run into my parent’s friends they ask me the same two questions. How is school going? Obviously, wonderful.  Go Pokes. Or what do you want to do after college? This question is more stressful than trying to fit everything on one plate at a Chinese buffet. I usually respond with something along the lines of “something better than whatever you are doing, hag.” Jokes. But even after I have been asked this question so often, I am still never prepared. Because of this I have decided to formulate a list of all the things I would like to do when I grow up.

Pokémon Trainer. Many people can relate to childhood memories of spending an insane amount of time and money trying to fill custom binders with Pokemon cards or trying to decide if you wanted to purchase the red or blue Gameboy game — because they were obviously so different. But that was never enough for me. I dreamed of being Ash Ketchum. Of capturing my own first Pokémon. I saw myself gathering all of the badges and traveling through caves with my best friend, Pikachu. This was the first profession that thought I could truly excel at and still believe today would be a good fit for me.

Beyoncé. I am a woman so I want to be everything that encompasses and embodies the essence of Beyoncé Knowles. I am a very big advocate of everyone being themselves, but if I was half of the woman that Queen B is than I would be an angel, a star and a wonderful human being. I want to have the presence like her when she walks on stage. I want to change the lives of many people just with the sound of my voice and the moves of my hips.

Superhero. Anyone who knows me knows that more than anything in this entire world I want to be a superhero. I want a cape. I want to fly. I want to save the world. And more importantly I want a super rad name and back story. Some haters continue to think that I am ridiculous for believing that it is possible, but if there is one thing that my parents taught me growing up is that I can do anything I set my mind too.

Happy. I do not know what I want I want my profession to be when I am older. I do not know if I want to be a mother, or if I want to get married. I do not know which city or which country I want to reside in. I do not plan things ahead in my life. The farthest I’ve gotten is daydreaming about traveling to Ireland and rescuing a dog. All I know is that I want to live a happy life doing something that makes me and other people happy.

So to everyone who does not have their future planned out,  do not worry. We have time to figure out what we want to do. Focus on right now and live the life you want to live, even if that means holding on to your childhood fantasies.

The Walking Dead

Walking to class may seem like a casual, tedious routine. But once you hit the the sidewalks and leave the comfort of wherever your journey began, things become awry. Thousands of people will join you in the uncertainty of exchanged glances and awkward half-waves. The adventure to class may be a lonely road for some of you, so let me help advise you how to successfully get to class without uncomfortable side-hugs or fist-to-high five clusters.

  • Pace. Everyone has their own pace that they walk at. Do not conform to someone else’s speed. It is more uncomfortable to walk behind someone at a slow pace than to pass them and possibly have to walk on some rough terrain. Do your own pace. If you think a swift jog might be the best way to go to class then hit that speed and keep on truckin’. You might not get a lot of human interaction other than stares or faint mumbles, but you have to travel at your own momentum. Maybe keep away from a dead sprint though. You might scare some squirrels.
  • Animals. Speaking of squirrels, stray away from all campus animals. At Oklahoma State University we have a plethora of fox squirrels and ducks. They are not the typical creatures you read about in your favorite childhood books. These monsters are more dangerous and clever than they might appear. There is nothing more awkward than being attacked by a duck at Theta Pond and trying to play it off like you are not scared of them. (They are also the only things that are legally allowed to drop some chocolate on sidewalks so watch out for that too, because they take advantage of it.)
  • Smile. When in doubt, smile it out. There are so many people on campus that you have potentially already met but cannot remember when, where or if that ever really happened. Assume that you know everyone, so you never make the mistake of ignoring someone that remembers you better than you remember them. If you do not know someones name, never guess. Calling someone a name that is not theirs is more offensive than Kanye West’s ego. Use nicknames like girl/boy, buddy, amiga/amigo, champ, etc., or just say hello.
  • Almost everybody looks good in sunglasses... Bless your heart Paige.
    Almost everybody looks good in sunglasses… Bless your heart Paige.

    Attire. Don’t dress up. Unless you are required to for class, work, a panhellenic chapter, etc. This is a personal preference. I do not want to be reminded that I woke up a little to late to have time to figure out that my entire ensemble clashes worse than the denim skirt/tight shirt era in middle school. Also wear sunglasses. Everyone looks cool in sunglasses. Unless you’re Paige.

  • Small talk. When you see a friend on campus it is always a very positive, exciting time. You probably want to hear about their weekend or if they watched the most recent episode of New Girl and saw all of the shenanigans that Schmidt has gotten himself into. Well, this isn’t the right time. If you stop and chat, then there is a possibility that you have messed up your pace or formed a barrier for other pedestrians walking. Keep the dialogue short with a quick “Miss ya,” or “You suck.” If something awkward arises from it, then just keep on walking.

Walk to class with your head up. Own a big smile. Say hello to friends and strangers. And don’t forget to watch out for duck shit.

Be safe out there friends.

Free Time: Guide to Joy

The stresses if college making you frown like my attractive friend Renee? Let's fix it!
The stresses if college making you frown like my attractive friend Renee? Let’s fix it!

College is once again in full swing. Mostly everyone has settled back into their hectic schedules of late night binge studying and Taco Bell. The freshmen are beginning to look less oblivious to campus norms, but are suddenly realizing that time management is more complicated than Miley Cyrus. The classes that were once impossible have been successfully dropped, allowing for time to participate in a club or sleep. The gym is starting to look like an increasingly unforeseeable lost desert that you have no intention of ever wandering into. Although there are all of these stresses throughout the week, there are those bright shining moments of free time that are as enjoyable as a molten lava cake at Sonic.

There is nothing I can do about all of the hardships of a college student. But I can advise you on how to better spend your short amount of free time. This guide to joy may be directed toward college students, but is definitely recommended for people of all ages.

  • Play. I know for me it is an instinct to take every drop of free time that I have and throw it into catching up on my shows. But put down the HuluPlus and go play. And ideal moment of play time would include some friends who are pretty willing to act-a-fool and who have an imagination the size of Diana Nyad’s endurance. You guessed it right. People who will let you indulge your fantasy of being a rock star and join your air band group for a jam session (now hiring lead guitarist and bass).
  • Cook. Try out a new recipe. Preferably something that has a lot of cream cheese and butter in it. Recipes are usually meant for two to four people so make a fun dinner for your girlfriend/boyfriend, your roommates or a dentist. Hell, make it for yourself and eat the whole thing. We have all done it multiple times.
  • Themes. If you are throwing a dinner party or just going to a party down the street, it is time to show some spunk by adding your own theme. I am not advising you to attend more themed events. I am pleading you to choose a theme for yourself and dazzle yourself and others by showing up where ever you are in a full blown karate outfit — green belt and all. Nothing is more exhilarating than knowing you do not have to put fancy or tight things on your body. Instead, you can rock that spirit animal shirt that is one to three sizes to big.
  • Cruise. Grab some buddies, hop in a car, put on Summer Hits of the 2000s and let the good memories roll right with you. As “Yeah,” by Usher fills your ears throw your hands in the air — unless you are the navigator of the vehicle. Sing loud and drown out the astronomy test that you just know is going to be the end of you. When people start to sing along with you at stoplights, then you know you are doing it correctly.
  • Read. My blog. Or other things I guess.

“It’s what you do in your free time that will set you free—or enslave you.
” — Jarod Kintz

The Stages of Singledom

The stigma that being single reflects poorly on an individual is dead. We live in an era where it is not only acceptable, but somewhat praised to be a single adult. There are very few things that I truly excel at, but after twenty years of being single I would like to consider myself an expert. Being a third year college student I have been able to witness all of the ins and outs of people in relationships; whether they are seriously dating a lady/gent, just started a new fling with a beau, taking in any strays off the street or simply living the glorious single life. I’ve seen it all. And with the knowledge of all of the these men and women, my favorite people to be affiliated with — and be around — are single.

I do not want to dismay people in relationships, nor do I think less of them, but I would like to shed some light on the wondrous adventures each stage of singledom has to offer.

Stage 1 – Acceptance

Everyone at some point in their life is single. It happens more often than not for most people in their teens and young adult life. Do not be ashamed. Freedom is your new relationship. You can do anything your heart desires. There are no boundaries to the places you can go or people you can see. You live life on your own time. And that time is boundless fun.

Stage 2 – Support

Now that you appreciate your FB status, it is time to experiment with it. Being single is not fun if you do not have people to celebrate with you. Text your closest friends and tell them you need a girls/boys night. It is time to go out on the town and make a damn fool of yourself. Sounds like a good time to mix a gangster themed night with some late night karaoke. Then go home and eat a whole pie. Swimsuit season is almost over and you won’t have to worry about anyone checking out your spare tire.

Stage 3 – Make or Break

You’ve tested the waters and have ruined your liver for the time-being. Now it is time to decide if this is the lifestyle that you truly want. Do you enjoy the uncomplicated sensation of being free? Yes. Or do you want to be chained down? No. Right now is the time to decide if you want to put yourself on the market or sign the lease to fun.

Stage 4 – Rinse and Repeat

If you have successfully made the correct decision, then it is time for some more fun. Take stage 1 and 2 and combine them. With this spunky, exciting combination you will be able to enjoy the freedom of finding yourself while partaking in some interesting evenings. There is nothing holding you back to do what ever your wildest imagination can create. Put on your wings and fly, because the possibilities are endless.

I might be the only person who buys flowers for myself, but I always get the ones I want.
I might be the only person who buys me flowers, but I always get the ones I want.

Do not be discouraged young single ladies and gentlemen. It is our time to be celebrate our lives and take in all of the exciting opportunities that we can experience. Stop worrying about finding your future spouse. Stop trying to fit to a mold encouraging you to have every moment of your life planned out. Simply be fun, wild and free.

Throughout my singledom I have become accustom to doing many things solo, I have grown to enjoy my own company more than others and most importantly I learned how to watch a sunset alone and it feel completely normal. If you think that is depressing then you can suck it. I love myself and I love being single. So join me if you may where the grass is greener and the air is less polluted with bullshit.

Our youth is short-lived so do all the things you can imagine — no strings attached.

True Life of a Bro

Beautiful Tomboy
Future Miss America.

As a child, I remember the daunting feeling of hating dresses. I thought to myself that no other girls will accept me for wearing my brother’s hand-me-downs, watching Dragonball Z and wanting to be the red Power Ranger instead of the cliche pink girl. Until middle school, I stuck with the boys. Mostly because I looked like one, but also because boys did not care about my short, middle-part bob and the way my brother’s ratty pants would sag off my round body.

Whenever I found out what it meant to be a lady, I quickly realized that it was too late. I was never taught the fundamentals of hair-braiding or makeup-wearing because whenever I was at sleepovers I would be playing video games with my best guys friends or getting my ass kicked by my brother. When I finally decided that I should make friends that shared the same anatomy as me I realized that my perception of the girls around me was skewed. No one thought less of me because of my cut-off tee. On the contrary, I was taken in like the vagabond Simba — post Mufasa death. When I returned to Pride Rock the females took me in and groomed me to at least look like one of them. They knew I would never hunt the exact same way, but nonetheless they taught me their basic techniques.

As I have grown into a woman I am realizing that I am lucky to be born into a generation where women like me have have a place in society. Us “bro’s” hold balance for men and women alike. We set the path for future generations of tomboys. So young ones beginning the journey to becoming a bro, welcome to a wonderful world. To those who walk the path with me, enjoy the ride. And to those still confused by us, I will help enlighten your soul.

Bailey looking dapper as always.
Bailey looking dapper as always.
  • Fundamentals of Bro-dem. I think the term “bro” (when referring to women) basically means to never let go of the tomboy inside. When we were kids, the  tomboy species loved to get gross, play hard and leave the boundaries. Now as semi-adults we like to talk gross, party hard and cross boundaries. Never let the tomboy die, that spark in you will help you overcome challenges once thought impossible. Like beating everyone you encounter in Mario Kart for N64. Challenge me if you dare.
  • To be a bro, is to embrace the bro. It is always uncomfortable watching women half-ass being a bro. These women make occasional crude comments, comments about food and talk mildly about bodily functions — but only the PG ones. The benefits of being a bro is completely destroying any filter you once had before. Try it. Look someone directly in their soul. Tell them you can out drink him. And then do it. I know you can.
  • The life of a bro is a difficult path. Although generally most bros tend to not care about the opinions of others, bros are people too. And being a human being comes with having emotions. So when you come upon a bro and she looks pretty, maybe even wearing a dress and heels, do not look at her like she is of the indigenous race of the Nav’i. Bros are still women, who can look absolutely breathtaking. Take me for instance. But, when she does burp in your face and tell you to “eat it,” acknowledge her beautiful sense of style and even more beautiful sense of classiness. Not everyone can walk with the best of us. So I give you fair warning.

Bails and Sails

I live the life of the bro, because it is who I am. I do not wish to be a man. I do not want think women should strive to be men. I just believe that for me, true happiness lies on the fundamentals of being carefree, dressing comfortably and sitting with my legs open. And for all the boys out there who are “one of the girls,” I respect you too. Keep doing you.

So embrace yourself. You dirty little tomboy.

Ignorant Dating Advice

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Single like my dear friend Betsy? I will help you catch and keep a date in no time.

Interaction is a huge component to a human being’s happiness. People need to be loved, touched and appreciated. Regardless of the physical aspects, dating helps you learn a lot about yourself. It helps you determine your temperament, time management and the importance of sharing. That is why having relationships is key to having a successful life. At least that is what I have learned from all of the people I have dated in my life. All zero of them.

I think when it comes to giving dating advice ignorance may be bliss. I have never been struck by the epidemic of “true love,” approached by my “soul mate” (although I did feel flutters in stomach when I had my first Dirty Curty) or ever been on a date. Ever. Thus, making me unbiased. So before you hit the town with the new person in your life, here is some quick dating tips to make your night the last first date you will ever have.

  • Be new. Since it isn’t the 1900s anymore, asking people on a date has slowly dwindled down to texting a quick “won 2 hng?” or moving to the corner of a party and sharing a Solo cup. Regardless of the current social norm, it is time to break the mold and ask someone on a date via karaoke. All of the best moments in history happened right before or immediately after a good karaoke sesh. For instance: MLK’s infamous speech, Ellen DeGeneres’s coming out and as recent as His Royal Highness Prince George’s of Cambridge birth.
  • Be yourself. When you successfully have obtained the date of your dreams it is time to show her/him that you can handle your own. Are you going on a dinner date? Challenge them to the 70 oz. steak challenge. Loser buys. Movie date? Pick the scariest movie they have, sit front row and watch it upside down. Your nightmares won’t even know how to process the change of gravity. Romantic walk? Turn it into a brisk run by playing tag. Not just with each other, but everyone in the vicinity. You can learn a lot about a person by their willingness to recreate childhood games.
  • Be bold. After the person you have wooed has opened up to the possibility that they are in love with you, it is time to make the move that can secure your rightful spot in her/his heart. Change your last name to theirs by the third date and tattoo their face on your upper back. It worked for my parent’s 29 year marriage so it will work for everyone else. (sidenote: Laurie Tilley does not have a tattoo of my father’s face nor did she take his last name and vice versa)

Whoever life throws at you, always be prepared to make them your number one boo.

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They took my advice and have been together for almost thirty years.