A Month in the 21 Club

It has been a month, and I am still 21. Before I decided to tack on another year to my life, I wrote some lines on how being 21 was overrated. For those of you who knew I was being silly, I now understand. See there is this crazy thing that happens when you turn 21, and it is called a reawakening.21club

What I thought was going to happen was that I would be able to go to bars, have a beer with my mom and actually have something to do when I am stuck at an airport. Was I wrong? No. That all happened, and so much more. I have better posture, glossier hair, smoother skin and somehow I smell like cedar wood. Plainly put, I am a new person. I am now Sarah 2.1 and I am invincible.

For those curious what happens when you turn 21 I will help by answering the most common questions according to absolutely no research.

Q. Do you become an adult?

A. Not in the slightest — that would have been devastating. You actually become more immature for a short period if that is possible.

Q. Do you suddenly develop a life plan?

A. No. I was really hoping that was going to happen actually. Sorry mom. I now know  that I don’t ever not want to be 21. Counts for something.

Q. Do your alcohol taste buds change?

A. Without a doubt. I refuse to drink anything that is popular. I will walk around with a beer before I drink it and ask people if they have heard of it. If 2/5 people have heard of it, it’s not going down my facehole and instead being thrown at the bartender for lying. Don’t try to offer me a Coors Light. Unless you are giving it to me for free. Then maybe I will drink it. I will drink it.

Q. Will I finally get a boyfriend/girlfriend?

A. No.

Q. Are you sure?

A. Yeah, I thought it came with the package too.

Q. Do you lose all your money to overpriced drinks?

A. No, not all your money. If you continually ask bartenders to make the drinks with the cheapest type of  liquor they have, then drinks really are not that bad. Then the only thing you are losing is your dignity and sense of taste.

Q. Can I be 21 too?

A. Yes. Everyone has the capability of being 21.  (I tried to find some tips online to speed up the process, but surprisingly couldn’t find any information)

For those of you who are 21, thank you for letting me join to the club with you. It truly has been a great month, and I cannot wait for the next eleven. For those still patiently waiting for your time, know that you are missing out on the greatest joys in the world and it really sucks to be you.

Turning 21 has been passed down from generations in the McLaughlin family. "xx," - Samantha McLaughlin, the newly initiated member, said.
Turning 21 has been passed down from generations in the McLaughlin family. “I was meant to be 21 since the day I was born,” – Samantha McLaughlin, the newly initiated member, said, “The fact that I can legally buy alcohol is scary for everyone.” Samantha is not the only one who is excited that she can partake in 21 club activities. Her mother Kim McLaughlin said, “The 21 club really begins when you get to karaoke with your daughter and her friends.”

Drink responsibly my friends.

 

 

21-Year-Overrated

LameDo you feel like everyone around you is turning 21? Does it feel like every time you go out you see less and less of the people you call your friends? Are you the oldest person at a house party? Then you, my friend, are suffering from Latebirthdayosis. This disease is very prevalent on college campuses, but do not fear, we can fight through this together.

The symptoms of Latebirthdayosis include:

  • You have made more shotbook pages than you can count on five hands, and in return you have received zero.
  • When people talk about the bars you feel anxious, exasperated and alone. The bars have taken your friends, and it feels like they do not want you at all.
  • Mild depression due to FOMO.
  • You find yourself staying in more than usual and you have started to become accustomed to it. Possibly enjoy it as well. Anything is better than seeing younger college students actin’ a fool. You’re too old for that (yet too young for the bars).
  • You’re washing more t-shirts than in recent months. Who needs to dress up to eat a pizza and watch Home Alone when you are alone at home — see what I did there?

If you or a loved one is suffering from Latebirthdayosis then it is time to take a new outlook on this disease.

There are actually some positives to this diagnosis:

  • You are not required to attend your friend’s 21st birthday bar hop on a Tuesday and do not feel awful on Wednesday in your 8:30 a.m. Microbiology class.
  • No obligations of dressing up, putting on makeup or wearing pants.
  • You are closer in age to being a child and not fully considered an adult. Thus, allowed to act whichever way you want without judgment.
  • More of your friends will be able to celebrate your 21st birthday with you. They will also have a good knowledge of the best places to hit up.
  • Your bank account takes less of a beating due to opting out of paying for overpriced shots and late night drunk food.

It is time to stop feeling bad for yourself and take advantage of having a late birthday. Use your extra cash and calories to treat yourself to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. While your friends are running around the bars, go to a trampoline park and lose your shit. Stop daydreaming about the bars and enjoy your nights. The possibilities are endless. Except for the bars. The bars are not a possibility.

Cheers to not being 21!
Cheers to not being 21-year-overrated!